Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Award winner announced

One of my favourite literary awards is the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction award. Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored this whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. It is named after a 19th century author Edward George Bulwer-Lytton whose novel Paul Clifford (1830) began with the following immortal lines:

'It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.'

The 2011 overall winning entry is:

"Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories."

My personal favourite is the Fantasy section winner:

"Within the smoking ruins of Keister Castle, Princess Gwendolyn stared in horror at the limp form of the loyal Centaur who died defending her very honor; “You may force me to wed,” she cried at the leering and victorious Goblin King, “but you’ll never be half the man he was.”"

The full list of winners from a range of genres as well as links to a number of other amusing sites can be found at http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/.